#023: Too loud, too emotional, too much? Why we’re embracing our “unlikeable” era

I vow to be unlikeable. I vow to be unlikeable. I vow to be unlikeable.

Last week, I attended the inaugural Unlikeable Woman Summit - created for every woman who's ever been told she's too much, too loud, too bossy, too opinionated, too emotional, too confident, or not using the right tone.

Sound familiar?

History is full of women labelled “unlikeable”. Conditioned from birth to be likeable, to please, to fit in, we’ve shrunk ourselves. We’ve quietened our voices, blended into the background, said yes when we wanted to scream no.

But not anymore. 

I vow to be unlikeable.

At the event, we heard from women who have said no. Who’ve called out misogyny and challenged the system. Women who’ve reclaimed their power, learnt to block out the ridicule and bullying, and stood proudly in their truth, even when they felt totally lonely.

But here’s the thing: none of us are truly alone. We are a sisterhood.

Perimenopause is often treated like a disappearing act - a stage where society quietly drapes a cloak of invisibility over us and whispers that we’re no longer relevant. Obsessed with youth, the world tries to cast us aside.

We say: no more.

We have experience, wisdom, and power. Perimenopause, for me at least, has brought tremendous clarity (not day-to-day clarity - I still can’t remember the name of a fridge, but clarity in what I want and what I’m no longer willing to tolerate).

Listening to these remarkable women made me feel bolder. I will speak up. I will use my voice - even if it makes me unlikeable.

And I urge you to do the same. Your story is yours alone. The world needs your wisdom.

You are not alone. You have never been alone.

Love Valerie x