#031: Groove is in the Heart. When did you last feel alive?
By Valerie |
When did you last feel alive? I mean properly - skin tingling, heart thumping, every sense switched on alive.
For me, it was 3pm on Saturday 14th September, just 10 days ago.
I was surrounded by hundreds of women; most of them strangers- sweat glistening, arms in the air, screaming every word to songs I hadn’t heard in years. The music seeped into every cell and suddenly, I lit up. Awake. Alive. On fire.
But when had I last felt that way? Maybe at a friend’s big milestone birthday last year, when I was the last to leave the dance floor. Before that? Who knows.Somewhere along the way I stopped doing the one thing guaranteed to make me feel like me - dancing.
Why did I stop dancing? Because I told myself I was “too old.” Because clubbing was meant for people in their twenties, not women on the “wrong” side of 40. Because wanting to dress up and dance felt… tragic. I was meant to be signing up to the PTA, not throwing shapes under disco lights.
As I got older, the world seemed to expect me to shrink. To take on more labels; mum, partner, professional, perimenopausal. And women with these labels? They don’t wear sequins or dance wildly and unapologetically. They do sensible, ordinary things.
And yet, on that Saturday, something shifted. We weren’t mums, workers, or women “of a certain age.” We were just bodies in motion. Alive. And I remembered: joy doesn’t expire.
When the night closed with Set You Free (banger), I realised it’s me who sets me free. Yes, cringe/corny- but true. I’d chosen to believe the labels. I’d chosen, subconsciously maybe, to shrink. To hide parts of myself that didn’t fit the mould.
Dancing might not be your thing. But find what is. Ask yourself what you’ve given up along the way and then go and find it again.
Eternally grateful to Mums That Rave and DJ Nikki Beatnik- for proving that labels like ‘mum’ or ‘perimenopausal’ are just that: labels. The most interesting thing about any woman is everything else.
Love,Valerie x
Dancing through perimenopause
Deirdre Nazareth, DO, ND, IFMCP, Osteopath and Certified Functional Medicine Practitioner gives her top five solutions for supporting yourself in perimenopause and menopause.
The healing power of sound
Janie Everett, a sound practitioner and neuroscience coach gives you the lowdown on how sound can support personal development, emotional well-being and self-inquiry.
Mums that Rave Christmas Party
Missed out on last week’s Mums that Rave Autumn party? Have no fear, we’re also sampling at their December shindig and would absolutely love to see you there. Non mums & solo ravers are also very welcome.
Mums that Rave Christmas Party
Missed out on last week’s Mums that Rave Autumn party? Have no fear, we’re also sampling at their December shindig and would absolutely love to see you there. Non mums & solo ravers are also very welcome.
What are we reading
One winter morning on an ordinary day in contemporary Dublin, an ordinary middle-class woman wakes up in her ordinary suburban home. Her husband is next to her in bed, her teenage children sleeping nearby.
A story of rage, reckoning, joy and transformation, Breakdown explores what could happen if we followed our darkest perimenopausal impulse to blow our lives up.
What are we listening to
Sometimes the only way to talk about night sweats, rage spirals, or kitchen discos fuelled by hormones is through music.
This is why we created Now that’s what I call Hormones Vol.1 as a reminder that perimenopause needs a soundtrack, and a spotlight. That women deserve to see their experiences not whispered about, but belted out at full volume, sequins and stilettos optionalOur tracklist includes:
- Kelis – “Caught Out There” “I hate you so much right now!” The rage anthem for when you can’t tell if it’s your hormones, your partner, or the patriarchy. (Spoiler: it’s probably all three.)
- Alicia Keys – “Girl on Fire” Literal. Figurative. Hormonal. Existential. All of the above.
- Alanis Morissette – “Uninvited” When the anxiety creeps in unannounced and you’re torn between burning it all down or going for a mindful walk.
- Robyn – “Dancing On My Own” For those nights when you feel invisible- but you’re still showing up, mascara-smudged, mid-shimmy, holding your head held high.
- Cher – “Strong Enough” Yes you are. Even if it’s with bad lighting and unsupportive underwear.
Listen now on Spotify or cross your fingers that you find a bootleg copy outside Camden tube station.
