“Life after menopause? Honestly, I feel like me again.”

“I’d say don’t panic. It’s tough, but it doesn’t last forever. Eventually things settle, and you just care less about all the stuff that used to wind you up. It’s a bit of a relief, really.”

A tale of two halves.

Midlife has a PR problem. If you believed the headlines or the doom and gloom stories, you’d think menopause was a never-ending saga of hot flushes, hormonal breakdowns and vanished confidence. And yes, it can absolutely be tough, but it’s not the end of the story.

This is Hannah. She’s 48.

She’s been through it, and she’s come out the other side with clarity and what she calls a new-found “don’t mess with me superpower.” 

A long-time personal assistant in the Manchester area, Hannah’s no stranger to busy work days, high pressure, and the kind of life admin that would crush a lesser mortal.

Hannah has a brilliant shining attitude towards being post menopause. 

The kind of perspective that gives other women, especially those deep in the perimenopausal trenches, a bit of breathing space. A reminder that this isn’t the end of anything, there’s a lust for life worth capturing, at every stage. 

Through it all, the good, bad, the ugly, reaching post menopause might not be as bad as you think.

We’re sharing her story not because she had it easy, but because she successfully found her footing in post-menopausal life. And that might be exactly what you need to hear.

Coming off the combined contraceptive pill at 40 changed everything for Hannah.

“I read an article about how it (the pill) can impact your mood and your libido, and something just clicked. I couldn’t even finish my current packet. I stopped, and within two short weeks I started feeling like myself again. More like me than I had done in absolute years. I just wish I’d done it sooner.”

After that point, in her fresh pill-less existence, Hannah realised that her periods weren’t regular, but they had never been particularly regular, even when she was pre-pill, aged 18.

Soon though, things started to change. First they came every two weeks, but only lasted a couple of days. Then they began stretching out. Two months between bleeds. Then longer, then nothing. 

And, in hindsight, the night sweats that she had put down to a thick duvet were probably the start of it all.

She was 41 at the time.

“My mum was going through perimenopause in her early 40s as well. She says she didn’t really have many symptoms, but maybe she’s just forgotten. Or maybe she just got lucky.”

Hannah describes her symptoms like chapters. Each one arriving, lasting a few months, and then quietly moving on. She says that each one visited her quite predictably, in neat, almost exactly 3 month-bitesize chunks. 

“There was a time when my boobs just ached. Again, for about three months. Constantly. I thought it was a bra issue, so I tried every style going. Nothing helped except, at points, just holding them. Painkillers did nothing either. Then one day, it just went.”

Other times it was the words that vanished.

“Brain fog is for real. You know the word. You’ve always known the word. But it’s like, gone. I was trying to say the phrase ice bath at a work event the other day and all that came out was cold dipping tub (?!) My brain had just fully drawn a blank, but I laughed it off in the end.”

Then came the flushes. The ones that start in your chest and rise up like a surge of rage and heat and WHY IS IT SO BLOODY HOT IN HERE.

“I carried a paper fan everywhere. I even had a USB fan plugged into my laptop at work. Lifesaver. Oh, and the thing about wearing plenty of layers, it’s not a myth, it really does help when you have to strip off in the office…”

And then there was the alcohol intolerance.

“One pint felt like ten. I’d wake up with the worst hangover after barely touching a drink. It wasn’t worth it. I was forced to go teetotal for six months. Eventually I found I could tolerate things like a little gin or vodka again. But wine? Nah, forget it!”

When asked whether anything caught her off guard emotionally, a pang, a pause, or even a brief moment of reflection, Hannah responded:

“I think the only thing I did kind of stop and think about was kids. I’d always been very sure that I didn’t want children, but then when menopause actually hit, I remember having this weird moment of ‘oh, that’s it then’. It wasn’t regret exactly. More just… oh…

I guess it just made it very final, like that decision has now been made for me. And I was fine with it, still am, but yeah, at that moment in particular, I noticed it.”

The libido surge that hits like a tidal wave?

Many women approaching menopause can see their libido start to vanish into the horizon. But for Hannah, for a little while, things went quite the other way.

“When I started into menopause, my libido shot up, like being a teenager again. I’ve got no regrets, I had the absolute time of my life, I think your body knows it’s your last chance to make a baby or something, and it just throws everything at it.”

And then it began to taper off.

“Eventually, it just disappeared pretty much for me, gone, but the thing is, I don’t even miss it. I did all the things I wanted to do in my life and in perimenopause, so I feel like I made the most of it. And now I’m fine with that, it’s just a different phase of life, that’s all.”

“My hormones have settled these days, I’m on HRT and I feel better, calmer, like my brain has space again, I’m more chilled, and honestly, I care less, in a good way of course!”

How about out in the world, especially in the world of work, how do you feel now you are post-menopausal?

“Oh well, at work, we talk about midlife, menopause and many other things openly, both men and women. That’s been a positive. No one’s rolling their eyes at me or changing the subject. A lot of men tell me that their wives or partners are going through the exact same thing as me, and it just feels very natural to bring it up and to hear what they have to share on the topic. 

For me at least, there’s generally less shame around it now, and that matters, it makes you feel seen. Truly invaluable for any woman experiencing menopause, really. It’s the way it should be”.

“I’d say don’t panic. It’s tough, but it doesn’t last forever. Eventually things settle, and you just care less about all the stuff that used to wind you up. It’s a bit of a relief.

I’d also say, if possible, talk to your mum, ask the important questions, without shying away. Read up on things before they hit you. I wish I’d known more about all this much earlier.”

“Regarding supplements, I did try a few. I believe now it is about consistency and sticking to one thing you know works for your body, and not just taking the odd thing willy nilly when you fancy it. I tried red clover, maca powder, sage, all the ones people tend to recommend, but I don’t know if they made much difference. Maybe a little. 

I’ve come to realise that supplements which are comprehensive are usually better, as I don’t have too many bottles in my cupboard to faff around with.”

For context, Hannah eats plenty of plant-based whole foods, conscious of her health and hormonal balance.

In addition, what you feed your brain (like your diet) is just as important in forming who you are and the life you choose to lead. Hannah follows only positive social media accounts, depicting midlife in vibrant shades. Among her faves, she mentioned ageingdisgracefully_, Fearlessat50 and Carla.rockmore.

And the surprising hero?

“Yin yoga! During the worst of the flushes, I found an online class in lockdown, an hour and a half in the evening, and I also slept better straight away, like a miracle. I’d recommend it to anyone.”

No supplement is going to fix your entire life. But a good one can support you while you do the rest.

Valerie’s Daily Essential was made for perimenopause, not the airbrushed version, the real one. 

It’s an all-in-one liquid shot packed with Ashwagandha, Magnesium, Iron, Zinc, Chromium, Selenium, Vitamin D3 and Vitamin B6 and more. All backed by science, and targeted to tackle exactly the chaos your body’s kicking off about.

Ashwagandha helps reduce stress and anxiety

Magnesium supports sleep and mood regulation

Vitamin B6 supports hormone balance and brain function

Zinc and iron help boost energy and circulation, both crucial for keeping libido and motivation afloat

Chromium supports blood sugar balance, keeping those hangry crashes in check

Vitamin D3 and selenium help with immunity and inflammation

Together, they help steady the ship, calm the storms, keep your brain online when it feels like it’s stuck on buffering mode.

Like anything, consistency helps, but it’s powerful stuff. Hopefully making you feel like you again, too.

Try Valerie Daily Essential and our new Evening Essential now

One shot means you’re covered, with no messy cupboards full of bottles you can’t pronounce.

We’ve covered a lot in this article, but if you want to dig a little deeper, there’s plenty more where that came from.

Can’t hold your drink?

Curious about why you suddenly can’t handle a tipple anymore? Read our piece on looking after your liver for better oestrogen metabolism during perimenopause.

Sex life done a vanishing act?

Wondering what happened to your sex drive? Or why it suddenly came back with a bang? Start here with our take on libido through the stages.

And last, but certainly not least, if you’re navigating all this while holding down a job, don’t miss our guide to perimenopause in the workplace, with some super practical guides on how to get the support you not only need, but deserve to have.

Go on, treat your brain to a scroll. The good kind.