#020: You’re Going Where? By Yourself? Saying Yes Might Change Everything

“You’re doing what? You’re going where? And you’re going by yourself? You met these people on the internet…? It’s not a cult, is it?”

Those were the reactions I got from family and friends when I said I’d signed up for a retreat in the Lincolnshire woods - on my own.

And if I’m honest, part of me was asking the same questions.

But autumn 2022 was the season I finally decided to put myself first. 

I used to hear the word retreat and roll my eyes. How lovely, how indulgent. Must be nice to have the time and money to swan off chanting and doing yoga. It all felt a bit airy-fairy, a bit woo.

Not me. I’m a doer. Back-to-back meetings, life in spreadsheets, always saying yes.

Until I broke.

Peak anxiety. Peak what the actual f am I doing with my life? Full-on identity crisis. Who even was I anymore?

I’d spent my life putting everyone else first - kids, work, relationships, expectations; and somewhere along the way, I’d stopped checking in with myself. That had to change.

So, I signed up. I winced at the price - though, let’s be honest, if it had been a football tournament for my son or a training course for someone at work, I wouldn’t have blinked. But this was for me and that felt alien. Even selfish.

What followed was a weekend of quiet and clarity. I was invited - gently - to feel what I actually felt. To sit with it. To stop performing. For the first time, I realised I was a chronic people-pleaser. I’d built my identity around being useful, needed, agreeable. I had no idea what I wanted. No one had ever really asked and I’d never thought to ask myself.

But in that forest, something shifted.

I started the retreat thinking I was doing something radical. I left wondering why it had taken me so long.

That’s why we’re hosting our first-ever Valerie Wild Woman day retreat, to help you find and use your voice.

It’s a full day just for you. No demands, no distractions - just space to reconnect with yourself. Come with a friend or come alone. You’ll leave feeling more confident, more supported, and ready to turn your midlife into your maxlife.

Love Valerie x